Getting Hired

It's funny, the things that seem like a good ideas at 3:00 A.M.

I was laying in bed watching "The Princess Diaries," wide awake from insomnia as I often am, and stressing about my bills. I was going to have to get yet another job to make ends meet. The economy had just taken yet another turn for the worse, and I was trying to figure out what work I might be able to get that would give me some decent hours...and, equally important, wouldn't be closing its doors a week after I got hired.

In Southern California, one of the largest employers is Disney. And I would lying if I didn't admit that I have wanted to work at Disneyland ever since I was a teenager. In fact, I have also applied 11 times over the years. Well, just for the heck of it I visited the Disney website yet again...and it showed that they were in fact hiring! By 4:00 A.M. I had filled out the last online form, and figured that, realistically, application 12 would soon be on its way to the circular file. I imagined I would once again get the email saying that I was not "cheery" enough for them (Me? Not cheery? The hell you say!).

No one was as surprised as I was when I actually got called in for an interview. Did I really get that much "cheerier" in the time since I had last applied? Or did the applicant pool just dwindle down that badly? I didn't know -- and either way, I didn't care.

Once in the casting center (all Disney employees are referred to as "cast"), I took yet another computerized test. It was pretty much the standard exam used everywhere now, and after passing that did a face-to-face interview. (I won't go into exactly what goes down in the interviews. For all I know it could have changed by now, and let's be honest: it's boring.) Obviously, I did get the job. And I would love to tell you that I got my dream job. Honestly, I didn't -- but I did get offered something interesting, and it was suited to my skill set. (I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare to...sorry, where was I?)

I was given a very thick packet of papers to fill out, and I had a return visit set up to turn in the paperwork, get my picture taken, etc. I and everyone else hired were given a very long, very specific set of guidelines to what the Disney Look consists of -- in short "classic" and clean cut. Since I am a pretty boring dresser (although my secret is that I ALWAYS have outrageous socks), this was not an issue for me.

BUT-- I was told in no uncertain terms that my hair, which had been a rather Ariel shade of red, would have to be changed to something "natural." I replied that my hair was "cheery." They insisted that it was a bit too cheery...oh well, it's only hair color, right?

I went home singing Zippedy-Doo-Dah out a certain body part (a cookie if you know the movie).